Heartbreak, stale cookies, revenge, redemption, the next great novel, and stalking - all in a day’s work for Eddie.
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Day one at the convenience store.
Young guy just bought condoms.
“They’re for my son.”
I think he was like, 16.
Whenever I have an excuse to buy condoms:
Manager: You have a new coworker. Amy.
Amy says she used to work at a bar, and then she got in trouble.
Now she’s working here.
Me: Who is that mustache guy who came in? Your boyfriend?
Amy: He’s dead to me.
Amy: Did you just say hashtag?
Mustache guy: You Amy’s new boyfriend?
Me: I, well... I mean—
MG: I will kill you if you touch her.
Me: Yeah no I'm not.
I found a little girl hiding in the ice cream cabinet.
"Don't tell mom," she said.
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